The Relationship I Had With my Hair and Why I Won't Go Back

A couple days before the first 20SDS I had just got a fresh set of Havana twist. I woke up that morning and two had fallen out and by noon directly in the front three more had fallen out. Sitting behind my laptop completing some last minute things before the event that night, I began pulling out the rest of the twist I had left.

The event was 6 hours away. I didn’t have time to get a new set of twist. You know how everyone’s hair is raggedy once you take braids out?  I couldn’t just do a basic wash and go. There was absolutely no time for deep conditioning. I called up a friend who recently did the big chop and maintained a low cut that I loved.  She took me to her barber who asked me what I wanted, and I replied: “I’m pressed for time because I have an event tonight cut it all off.”
She did and now I am here.

I try to grow my hair back, but I love it for so many reasons.

Being bald gives you a different type of confidence.

I can’t speak for every woman’s experience, but I can tell you about mine. Growing up, I was proud of my hair. I kept it laid, colored, in a crazy cut, and never wore weave because I loved my permed hair so much. I dyed it every color imaginable and when Kelis came out with the "Bossy" video, I went and got it cut just like hers. I was one of those girls that never wanted to cut her hair, and the goal was to get it down to my butt. I have also always been plus size and my unique fashion taste and hair was always a cover up for that insecurity. It was a way for me to be confident. I may not have a small waist and a big booty, but I could dress my ass off and my hair was long and pretty, so I’m straight.

My hair was my comfort blanket.

When I cut my hair off, I realized I was pretty without it. Sounds crazy right? My boyfriend at the time was not happy, but I didn’t care because I was. It sounds corny, but it was definitely an India Arie “I am not my hair” moment in the mirror.

New Cut, who dis?

Now I completely understand how guys feel once they leave the barber. I get a whole different attitude after my barber lines me up. You can tell on my Instagram and snap story once I’ve visited the barber because I take way more filterless selfies.

But my favorite part is the fact that...

The Boosie fade requires no maintenance

I refused to let other people do my hair growing up. I just hated having to sit still for hours. I hated the entire process of going to the salon. Waking up and just brushing my hair is the most convenient part of my life, other than wearing black every day. Getting ready requires no thought or effort. Which is why I cut it off that day before 20SDS, I didn’t have time for styling products before the event that night.

I don’t plan on growing it back at all right now, but just like guys we face some of the same issues, jacked up hairlines and people touching your head.

True Story:

Being impatient, I decided to go to a different barber. Mine had way too many heads in front of me.  I’ll just say this; my hairline looked like Stevie Wonder went to town. My boyfriend, my brother, and my brother-in-law were all shocked, like, “Why’d he do that to you?” while my mother and sister didn’t even notice. So imagine getting hair advice from a guy. That is now my life.

And while tip-toeing the bald-headed line, I don’t know why people want to touch my head.  I don’t understand the fascination with scalp or waves, and I also don’t see people rubbing the heads of grown ass men. Just like you can’t touch our hair, don't touch my head.

Everyone doesn’t wash their hands after the restroom, we don’t know what spirits you may be carrying, but sometimes people have an urge to rub my waves, which grosses me tf out. And my grandma, along with a few others, asked am I a lesbian the first couple of times I was seen with no hair. (I don’t know why considering I’ve always kept a boyfriend.)

Outside of the creepy things human beings do, being bald is… I guess liberating. It genuinely showed me a different side of Whitney and gave me a confidence I didn’t have.  This doesn’t mean go chop your hair off, but I can be honest and say my hair helped me feel better about this insecurity I was facing, and by getting rid of it I became less self-conscious and more in love with me.