Don't interpret this as me being a "Negative Nancy" or coming down on women. I want to challenge us to think more of ourselves than how we built a man up. There is nothing more mind-blowing to me than hearing women say “I don't want him to be better for another girl.” WTF sis? I can also guarantee you two things he ain't better for her or that just wasn’t your man.
1.Bad Habits don’t go away overnight. She is dealing with the same issues you are dealing with.
I feel like the saying “It looks good on paper” needs to be replaced with “It looks good on social media.” First of all, stop watching him on social media with his new girl. Second of all, SOCIAL MEDIA IS FAKE. Just because their relationship looks good on snapstagram storybook live twitter (whatever social media outlet you casually stalk him on) that doesn’t make it real. I can assure you some of the foolishness he displayed when you guys were together is now his new girl’s headache.
2. If that man is better for someone else... guess what... THAT WASN’T YOUR MAN.
By that I mean he just wasn’t meant for you and that is OKAY! I understand you helped build him up and gave him a lot of your time and there's nothing worse than someone wasting your time. However, if (insert spiritual belief here ex. God, fate, ancestors) wanted him to be perfect for you then he would’ve. I’m sorry, your night and shining armor is coming but it just wasn’t him, it was hers. Somewhere another guy is making mistakes and learning from them just so he can be perfect for you.
Human beings are supposed to grow. They are supposed to learn from the mistakes that they made. I am sure he taught you lessons to make you better for the next man. Right? Don’t be a crab by wishing a man stays stagnant just because y’all didn’t work out. Lastly, sis mind your business. If y'all broke up and he is with a new girl, HE IS NO LONGER YOUR BUSINESS. I love us for real.
There are more accomplishments under your belt than making him a man better. Focus on them! If changing a man is all you can identify with, go build your life's resumé because it's waiting for you!